Notaddicted's Exclusive Diablo 3 REVIEW
Posted July 1st, 2008 by Thornbut
The above title is not a misprint, over the past weekend Notaddicted was privy to a first time world-exclusive preview of Diablo 3. After hours of footage viewing and .jpg enlarging, I feel more than qualified to release a review of Blizzard's brand new (upcoming) title.
Let's start with Diablo's strongest suit; the graphics. The environments in D3 are lush and well textured. I ran the preview of the game on a Dell Inspiron 1525 2-GHz Core 2 Duo with 2 Gigs of RAM, and the game (footage) ran with very few hiccups. My only complaint was with the small amount of artifacting that I experienced (in large screen mode). As a result I had a hard time making out some of the buttons on my utility bar.
After loading up the game(play footage), I decided to play the Barbarian class('s demo trailer). I have played both Diablo 1 and Diablo 2, and I am happy that Blizzard has not made any changes to the core gameplay. The chracters move in much the same way as they did in previous versions of the game, with a few tweaks here and there to make the transition between abilities much smoother.
Actual in-game graphics (footage) of Diablo 3 rendered real time (streaming) on my computer (browser)
The combat in D3 is fun and engaging. I was unable to tear my eyes from the screen for the full thrity minutes that I experienced the game (footage). I laughed heartily as my barbarian hacked through wave upon wave of encroaching enemies.
Unfortunately the game only (currently) features two character classes to choose from, and only one is actually available to play (gameplay footage of). This is very disheartening considering all of the classes and races available in Diablos 1 & 2. It is possible that Blizzard will offer these other classes in upcoming expansions of the game (or the actual release of this game), but only time will tell.
So how does this game rate? I give it a solid "A". It is completely worth your time and you should head down to your local Gamestop (in 2 to 3 years) and get your hands on a copy before they sell out. If you're ever on Battle.net drop me a line, my name is Darkly_Death (unless it's already taken when I register).
this is crap. Why did you post it? Not funny.
i've gone and done extensive research on our friend here, and found those closest to him and interviewed them on various aspects of Anonymous' Life, and the Hidden Meaning Therein.
Apparently, upon exiting his mother's vagina, his father was noted to have exclaimed to his mother: "This is lame. Why did you birth it? Not staying."
Anonymous led a hard life after his father bailed out on him and his mom. Although his mother tried her hardest to make him happy, every night at dinner, young Anonymous would let his mother know that "This is gross. Why did you cook it? Not yummy."
Anonymous' mother eventually left him behind as well (only to be happily reunited with his father once he was out of the picture). His struggle to maintain relationships with the opposite sex were usually met with heartbreaking failure, espescially in the bedroom. His dates usually ended with the partner of the evening summarizing the events at hand: "that was pathetic. Why did you bother? Not pleasurable."
Poor Anonymous dragged his feet through dead-end jobs, trying his hardest to find new meaningful employment as a night security man at the local mall: "that was hilarious. Why did you apply? Not hired."
A lonely old man, Anonymous became embittered, and would spend the remaining days of his life trying to reach out to others through the magic of the internet. To make one meaningful connection to another living being before it was too late was all he ever hoped for. The message above was apparently the last message he ever posted, summing up his miserable life's message so clearly it's almost a little eerie.
I visited his grave, and laid a single flower by his grave marker. His father, or perhaps mother, must have noted his passing, as the marker was NOT unmarked as i would have suspected, but had only a single inscription, in a plain, non-serif font:
"that was pointless. Why didn't you end it sooner? Not missed."
Ouch.
Let us not judge poor Anonymous, here. Let us instead know that he was only a victim of his environment. A poor, lost soul, trying to swim upsteam in this great river of life. Goodbye, dear Anonymous. Goodbye, and God Bless.
I am not anonumos, but just can agree with his reply.. wtf is this crap, looks like front page writers got really bored..
There is enough info out there to write up a decent review instead of this bullshit, which aint either funny or entertaining. But why spend a hour on writing up an decent article when you can post this and think you are original.
And I am sorry that my gramma hurts your eyes bla bla.
Yeah, agreed. Pretty crappy review and not funny. Didn't even spell 'thirty' correctly. Spellcheck ftw.
Alright well I thought it was funny. The "exclusive" in the title makes me giggle.
Iso vs Anon
Iso wins via KO, round 1 at :44 seconds.
Fail once again at being funny :|
what the heck, why is everyone so grouchy on here today?
"ITS THE INTARWEBS JOB TO KEEP ME AT THE HEIGHT OF SATISFACTION ALL DAY EVERY DAY!!!!!!!!"
Chill out and go listen to your favorite song, or hit a J, do something.
Why so grounchy? Because such worthless articles getting boring after fifth time. WTB something useful.
I'm upset you didn't take this serious parody more serious.
Far be it from the humble contributors here at NA to not entertain you all at each second of your viewing life. We really need to hold people more accountable for their websites that are totally free and we weren't forced to peruse. Armchair criticism without reasoning or responsibility is really the height of modern thought, and I personally really appreciate Anon/Bladee's opinions.
Thanks for the great site and the funny/insightful/informative articles Iso et. all.
This is original anon. I came back to check, and it's still crap.
HE LIVES!
this is hilarious. Why didn't you make it a front page article? Not wise.
lawlz @ the anons' and bladee's idiotic comments
You just placed your self far above me and anon on idiot scale with that comment :)
Besides, there is no member on NA named Zugmaster so I assume you are rather bigger coward then anon to post under different name, or some random person who came here once, if so, gtfo.
Thank you.
lmao, "there is no member on NA" "you are rather bigger coward?" Please clarify these poorly crafted sentences and enlighten me further about this idiot scale.
Thanks!
When I see a comment about my English, it just tells me that person is desperate to find something in my post to flame, and in lack of it decided to go after my grammar. I am not native English speaker, so I'm sorry for not being perfect in a language that i been reading last 4 years together with another language at same time.
What I seen, anyone with IQ above an ape is able to read my typing, so that just proves you being an idiot.
As I said before, I failed to find a member named Zugmaster on NA, so you sir is a coward for posting under a different name.
And idiotic scale? simple, in your first comment you are being worse idiot then me.
EGGSELENT! MEESA ENJOYED THISSA STORY
sursly I dont know why nobody thinks its funny, I LIKED IT!
"If you're ever on Battle.net drop me a line, my name is Darkly_Death (unless it's already taken when I register)." My favorite part!
AND I FORGOT TO ADD TO MY PREVIOUS COMMENT THAT: Anybody using "ftw" should have their commenting privileges(AND IT IS A PRIVILEGE) revoked!
The article was hilarious, and the comments from the slow types were gold too. My favorite,
"There is enough info out there to write up a decent review instead of this bullshit"
Isobelle, sheer brilliance! And Bladee, I hope you die in a fire. :)
Pure gold.
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