Snorehammer, The Followup
Posted March 10th, 2008 by Isobelle
Our comment system sucks right now. The website is going thru a few changes (maybe you've noticed!). The Warhammer This is not going to become a weekly series or anything; I just wanted to point out a few things that seemed to be glaringly overlooked in my previous rant about Warhammer Online.
1) It was a rant. I believe I said so on more than one occasion. Perhaps the lack of a Gamespot score, the abundance of curse words, or the requesting that the source code be hurled off the White Cliffs of Dover might have tipped you off there.
2) I really don’t give two shits what anyone thinks. This one is going to confuse a lot of people, but you’re going to have to trust me when I say there is really no benefit for me to say anything other than what I feel on this site. I don’t get paid for anything I write here (yet?), and honestly have no animosity towards anyone trying to make a good game. Warhammer is NOT a good game in its current status. It’s not finished, I fucking know that, and yet still people felt the need to point that out like 50 times. Thanks, Detective. You’ve solved the crime. Way to go. People go on to call me a WoW “fanboi” because I’m flaming their precious Snorehammer beta. The irony of that is not lost on me.
5) I won’t have the chance to see if it gets any better since my account was banned. Oh noes.
D) But perhaps most importantly, I didn’t WANT to hate the game; I really just had no other choice. I think on more than one occasion I lamented this fact. The whole first paragraph was how I pretty much creamed my pants on seeing I was accepted into the beta, and how even after the huge disappointment that the beta vomited on me, I WILL STILL SING ITS PRAISES IF THE RETAIL GAME PROVES TO BE BETTER.
G) i actually made it past level 5, asshats. it's called sarcasm.
Q) The final copout comes from people claiming the game is for a more mature audience, and that I just don’t ‘get it’. Hate to shatter your dreams, but I’m 32 years old. I've grown up and moved out of the country. I don't want to crush your achievements, but you aren’t the epitome of adolescence riding your Huffy ten speed to McDonald's to work the drive thru. Game-wise, I’ve been in and out of guilds, and usually am one of the few that actually do shit and get shit done. I’m the guy on vent telling you (and probably your mom in the background) to shut the fuck up, or the one you send messages to asking how much DKP you have because you’re too retarded to figure it out for yourself. Learn to spell, or don't bother replying.
Z) Last point that needs to be addressed is apparently that YES OMG I PLAY WOW. SO FUCKING SUE ME. Thank god that’s out of the way.
All that said, here are a few more points that maybe just need to be clarified.
Boy oh boy I really hope they get this right. I really hope that War Is Everywhere. Because if not (and right now it’s not), then this is just a more sucky version of WoW. People love to complain about WoW’s pvp system (or lack thereof). Go for it. I certainly won’t call you names. It’s instanced. It’s silly. I don’t really do it. I roll on PvP servers so I can kill night elves that /wave to me as they’re trying to mine adamantite ore. That’s about as far into it as I get. Maybe I’ll AFK an AV to get welfare epix. But not really. To me the whole implementation of WoW’s pvp isn’t worth even hassling with. If Warhammer gets this right, it would be huge, it would be fun, and I could really see it being a positive draw for many people. THAT SAID, the amount of RvR I PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED (which I fucking said, if you actually go back and read the thing) pretty much amounted to me trying to solo my way from Tarren Mill to Southshore. Everyone (for some fucking reason) seems to remember TM vs SS as the golden era of WoW PvP. Try being the only one on your team. A lot of the perceived ‘fun’ drains out of the equation. That is what I experienced, and if you go back and read my paragraph, I believe I said “I honestly wish I could really go into detail here but I never made it more than 4 or 5 feet into the "RvR Zone" for the area without having 40 people jump into my asshole and proceed to cut their way out.” It was my honest wish to test it for you whores, but I couldn’t and stated thusly.
Borning, Boring, Boring. You can cry about it all you want, but I’ve played it, you haven’t, so I wonder who has more experience with it. QQ More.
It’s different. Whoopty do. I didn’t love it, I didn’t hate it, and pretty much said as much.
I would play it, then log out, and not want to log back in. The WoW beta (which, yes, I was in), never made me want to even log out. Yes, there was stuff like invisible mages that you could hear cooking up a pyroblast that you knew was going to kill you, but you persevered, because it was fun. I trudged thru every quest I did in WAR because I felt like I had to get a past the crap to where the game got fun. It never did. MAYBE I JUST DIDN’T REACH FUNTOWN. If Funtown is where the fun starts, though, the dev team needs to eliminate the road leading there, and make it the beginning zone. Why we should endure shit content to reach the good part is a design flaw I've never understood.
I touched on this. It looks bad. IT’S BETA. YES, I HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN. THANK YOU CAPTAIN, PLEASE BE SEATED. Graphical polish is one of the last things to go in. Holy shit, it isn't a newsflash. I have an $800 video card, and a machine capable of using it, so it's not that i'm toning down graphical sliders or anything either. The animations and textures will be fleshed out, duh. I hate to use the W word, because it turns on the nerd-rage faucet, but the WoW beta was much cleaner. Like, retardedly cleaner. They had their art style figured out already, and were putting it in as they went. Maybe this dev team is just using placeholders everywhere, and will go back and recreate every texture the weekend before launch. Whatever. Maybe when I get home I'll post a screenshot to make everyone shut the fuck up. I erased the game from my laptop, so I can't do it from here. It wasn't fun. God, I wish I could just make you people understand.
I HOPE IT’S A FUN GAME, AND I REALLY LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING THE FINAL PRODUCT.
But seriously, I’m not going to hold my breath based on what I’ve seen.
I hate you all.
Woo.
I didn't comment on the previous article because I had just stumbled upon it last night and it was already damp with nerd rage, so I'll comment the follow-up!
I've played the beta as well, and I gotta say I'm behind Iso 100%
Nothing is going to happen. Boring. Boring sorroundings. White cliffs of Dover.
Although I did RvR a little when it wasn't a huge zerg, and even then it really just amounts to who has more people. Heals were ridiculous when I played, and my job as a warrior priest was easy. do a heal, run up, get two combo points, then use my instant heal that costed 2 combo points, rinse and repeat. It basically consisted of standing in the back just like a paladin, then hit something with 2 attacks down to 95% health (I hit like a girl), then insta-heal.
And if stuff went wrong, you could just sprint away. No one can catch you without burning all their AP and being able to do NOTHING if they caught up somehow. Although I heard from a friend they did tweak sprinting.
Of course this same friend was just as optimistic and hopeful for WAR as I was, but in the end, we both saw where it was going and saw no point in playing the beta further.
I'd like to say I've moved all my WAR hope onto Age of Conan, but that will probably just lead to more disappointment as well. Maybe someone with make an AoC article soon.
YES CAPTCHA BOX I AM A HUMAN. WOW I DON'T WANT TO COMMENT ANYMORE.
I personally love AoC there still needs some fixing and stuff done, but its probably going to be the only MMO for a while that will "contend" with WoW, if you know what I'm saying.
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I dont dislike most of your posts, but Snorehammer rant was horrible. You sounded like a child who didnt get a shiny enough car for your 16th Birthday.
Other then that keep up the good work. Good reads. :)
I don't not hate some of your comments?
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as it stands the front page and forums are two systems. we're working on tying it together, but it's a work in progress. if you look closely you can see i actually have an account when i post comments, while everyone else is forced to enter a name and go "(not verified)". i got all excited when i thought i turned the captcha thing off for everyone, becasue the three or so times i had to use it too made me want to die as well. i feel your pain, just tough it out a bit longer <3
When were you booted from beta; what part of beta was the review written for? The game looks like its getting better and teh crafting system sounds dece. Either way I hope the game turns out great and will atleast play my first free month of it.
for me it seemed like the first one was written before the two month beta downtime, as much of the stuff was supposed to be fixed during the downtime... Take for example the bad PQ-loot system. Or the RvR, which should be a bit less ganking with keeps and npc-guards.
I forgot the mastery speccing...
edited: feel free to post again without pasting my entire article in the comment.
-iso
*COUGH* didnt the DEVS EVEN SAY IT WAS FUNNING ON THE LOW FOCKING RES CLINET OFC IT IS It'S CALLED TESTING?
Wait, was that supposed to be English?
Seen it. Played it. Deleted it. WAR is complete shit, even for being in beta. IMO, you can polish a turd until it's nice and shiny, but it's still going to be......turd.
As for dramatic improvements, uh....EA? Are you fucking high or just stupid?
EA must have spent tons money on this game, it's just hard to Warhammer released as a disaster. Do you think they will release the game fixing most of it's faults?
I love general comments with no basis. Turd? Ok, what makes it a " turd "? IN comparison to what?
Fixing most of its faults? Its a beta, they are cleaning up faults. WHat MMO do you play that doesnt have any faults?
Seriously...anyone can say " BEST GAME EVER ", " WORST EVER ". Post some thought behind your words... cause honestly you just sound uneducated and lack experience in the MMO field. So STFU and let the adults talk. THanks.
So STFU and let the adults talk. THanks.
...because THAT's mature, lol
Anonymous (not verified) said:March 17th, 2008
I love general comments with no basis. Turd? Ok, what makes it a " turd "? IN comparison to what?
Fixing most of its faults? Its a beta, they are cleaning up faults. WHat MMO do you play that doesnt have any faults?
Seriously...anyone can say " BEST GAME EVER ", " WORST EVER ". Post some thought behind your words... cause honestly you just sound uneducated and lack experience in the MMO field. So STFU and let the adults talk. THanks.
Unregistered ftw. Factually, I'm the same age as Iso, so I appreciate your wonderful commentary (uneducated, lack experience, etc) but it's rather baseless. Having played MMO's since the genre was created, EA has taken what could have been a beautiful thing and turned it into....turd. Yah, there's that wonderful, uneducated word again. I'm not a WoW fanboy, but I do recognize that even though the game definitely caters to casuals, from the beginning it was infintely more polished, cleaner, and sharper than any contendor. Yes, this includes your precious BEST GAME EVAR WAR, which in my honest opinion, sucks the sweat from a dead man's balls.
Thanks for your wonderful reparte...go ahead and shoot off some more of your wonderful 'adult talk.'
Unless WAR changes it's release schedule again, it only has around a short 3 months left. That's not alot of time for all the problems it seems to have. Isobelle's reaction pretty much states this game is currently unacceptable.
WoW the game itself was released rather problem free, mainly having server problems. All aspects of the game were very well polished. But when you look at a game like Vanguard, you could tell was not ready for release, the problems it had was as if they didn't even run a beta test. It was a half finished game that was pushed out the door.
Iso, what class did you play anyway?
Hey Iso, I just had the chance to read your writeup after the link was posted in the guild forums. I was rolling on the floor laughing. Thank you for the writeup. I was in the GuildWars beta and it wasn't bad either. I stuck with the game for 2 more years. Glad to see that you're ignoring the pedestrian, cowardly, and ignorant pieces of breathing matter who couldn't bother to put their names on their posts as they flamed you. Sorry that they didn't actually read and comprehend it because if they did you never would have had to write this one.
I use to play GW, actually still get on every now and again. I do play WoW, and have been for over a year. I did try LoTR twice (beta and retail), just didn't feel the love; along with trying out many other betas and live MMO's before, during and after playing WoW. I was looking forward to WarHammer and Age of Conan, for no other reason than to have one game where my friends and I could play like we use to in GW and WoW. So I just keep hoping there will be something that will fill that bill some day.
I loved the Chuck Norris line...I think I'm going to make it my sig..it's a great write up and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.... because as you know only adolescents and people who act like adolescents resort to name calling. Peace.
Love seeing fanboys getting upset, nearly as blind as religious fanatics.
I have given up on hyping and hoping for games to be good. Developers do alot of shittalk. Give me a demo or you won't see a single $ from me.
@Iso, always a good read.
Again, Iso - thanks for being honest. Kudos.
The thing that is so monstrously irritating about the articles you're written is that I would be very interested in what you had to say if you didn't come off as a 32 year old child. Rather than give much evidence to support anything you say, you instead choose to treat us to your mastery of four letter words. Rather than presenting some sort of case for why you feel like you do, you simply insist it doesn't feel right and sucks and then you proceed to cry and stomp your feet on the floor. You also really solidify your status as an infant by insuring us that you just don't give a fuck and then thrust your e-peen forward so we can all see that you are truly the internet's biggest badass.
Everything may be just as you say. WAR may suck the largest of cocks. Either way, your reaction to the Beta and your display of a lack of any sort of maturity mark you as a moron whether you're right or not.
Explain how Iso behaved like a 32 year old child? I'm honesly mystified. Is this your first time to this site? Have you EVER read any of the posts preceding the Warhammer review?
Seriously, for those who are flaming, understand that many people who endure the grindfest that WoW is desperately WANT a new killer MMO. They want something that embraces the best elements of EQ, WoW, etc, so that they can ditch Blizz and its catering to casuals.
Iso, in my opinion it (the review) was very succinct and to the point. I beta'd, like yourself, and didn't even bother passing my beta account to a friend. Deleted that garbage and didn't look back. Some may not understand your style, which can tend to be a trifle sarcastic, but quite honestly I appreciate it. Just wanted to give you some credit to counterbalance the flamage, though I know you don't give a rat's ass about that...
Anyway, spot on review. Thanks!
You are a noob. Warhomo Age of Reckoning will fail.
Now gtfo of my internet.
cry more? srsly?
I can't wait for WAR to get released, all the people not buying AoC to wait for WAR, are just going to come to AoC or gb2wow. Which more players for AoC is always a + and more players for WoW... isnt really a plus, but atleast they wont be in AoC to bitch/be children.
Holy Potato!
You people have no clue what you're talking about , just like ME!
Who the fuck cares if the game is good in any way ? Who? Its all about addiction.
WoW was fucking horrible but even I played it for 3 years. Why? Becuase I was addicted! And most people still are. You can't argue that. Combat system in WoW is fucking retarded , PvP is pointless , farming is lame, end game PvE is a joke and they keep nerfing it even more so more nolife addicts like ME can play it. Only good thing was the arena. Not because you could show your "skill" but at least it had some competition which kept you addicted to the game ( I have glad title on 3 chars so don't give me and shit about "L2P" and none of them is a NO SKILLED class like a Druid ).
AoC ... completely rubbish. MMORPG my ass. Its just like they say :"Hey , spoiled brat, pay us monee so you can play and talk to other retards for no reason." The fucking game should stay under development for another year or so because we can clearly see its BROKEN. PvP there is retarded aswell , combat system wants to be cool but its NOT , PvE is a joke and the only good thing is that all of you virgins out there could actually see some women breasts in good graphic ( or men ass or whatever you bitches preffer ).
WaR is going to be horrible aswell or it could change everything BUT NOONE REALLY CARES. People will get addicted to it aswell and they will gladly pay money for playing it ( which is all the developers want anyway ). I haven't played it yet because its still in the beta and it problably sucks ass. I probably never gonna play it anyway because I realised that in the end ... ITS ONLY A GAME.
So all you little fucks wake up and start living the real life, go out and get laid once in a while , get drunk , move out of your parents house and start living alone instead of hidding behind the computer at the age of 32 or so.
I hope you all get a life or just rot while playing a computer game.
Shitface is saying bye!
P.S. No I'm not mature and I don't care what you people think and EVERY MMORPG sucks, they are made for nolifers like I still am so don't play them if you don't want to be like me.
Wow. I'll give you one point for at least registering....
Pasteta have fun getting drunk and laid by a 55 year old bodybuilder.
Sucker.