First Impressions Of A Second Life

[Alihja]

I’d been logged into Second Life for approximately thirty seconds. “Would U leik 2 haev sex?” The message came up as I was staring into the computer screen; staring, and studying my avatar as I made feeble attempts at creating a customized character. Who was this clown? I drew a picture in my minds eye of what he might look like. A middle-aged man sitting in a stained bathrobe communicating from the confines of a cold dark basement. That's the way I envision everyone on the internet. And here he was, stalking the newbie area like a self-appointed cyber-sex delivery guy. Much in the same way that the creepy man in the Burger King game is known for appearing out of the blue and surprising people with fattening food. This person was probably sitting there eagerly awaiting newbies, pouncing on them while they’re too busy trying to figure out the interface to even give enough of a crap to either answer, or mute him. I suppose it's a numbers game for that sort. I mean, if it didn't work, why would they be sitting there?

I was unsure of what I – aside from ignoring my instant messages -- was supposed to do next. One might ask, "What’s the purpose of this game?" There really isn't one, but that hasn't stopped people from creating businesses and making a living out of the game. Second Life is a game in which anything that a person can think of can be created and scripted to react in the way that it’s creator programs it to react. I wonder if there is a way to make people disappear in the game. I looked over to see a naked newbie standing next to me. At some point during his avatar creation process, he ended up sporting a camel toe.


Enough about that though, I had more important things to think about, like finding out what interesting sites there were to see. In a game where anything can be created, there must be some cool stuff. I wasn't sure where to find it though, or how. I hadn’t felt this confused since High School graduation. I saw other avatars around me, most of them doing the types of things that people tend to do when they’re dumped into a virtual world. This includes but is not limited to, taking off their clothing, attempting to walk or fly while smacking into signs and buildings… soliciting people for cyber sex. I took my first few steps, and stumbled face-first into a light pole.

I heard the sounds of Jedi light sabers coming from someplace. It’s a sound that every nerd recognizes. I spun my camera around to see two people having a battle in the center of the street. Their cloaks rippled and swayed with their movements. Meanwhile, I maneuvered around, right-clicking on anything that I could to see what the objects in the world did. I learned that I could sit on park benches, and I could fly. I began to figure how the interface worked, and I learned that as each player begins to type a message in the game, the sound of keys tapping can be heard. Someone asked me if I was new. I told them that indeed I was, and they gave me a note card with links to “newbie friendly” places to visit.


I decided to check some of these places out, and I teleported into a virtual recreation of the city of Ancient Rome. This city’s creator had built everything from the marketplace, to the coliseum (complete with lions), to the steam baths, and the palace. It was very impressive to see. I was told that there is also a recreation of Amsterdam, and that someone was in the process of building New York City as well. After teleporting around for a while, and laughing at some of the billboards that people had put up all over the place, I decided to try to find a dance club. I wanted to see what it was like to pretend to dance and be social, while actually being an introvert and sitting on my ass.

Trailer Trash Christmas Special.

I teleported into a virtual nightclub. This place had a “DJ” playing top forty music and taking requests. People’s avatars were dancing in rhythm, and I noticed that these avatars had professionally crafted hair, shapes,and skins. The people in this club didn’t really have much for clothes on their avatars. There was a female avatar wearing a g-string grinding on the stage. As she was spinning up and down on a pole, she told people to tip her. The “DJ” in the “Club”, decided to stop playing music, long enough to speak into her microphone. I was just starting to think that was pretty cool how people could netcast through this video game. Someone could do a live "show". Yeah, I was just thinking that... and then her boyfriend began yelling at her. This was chimed in with a small screaming child to transmit a Trailer Trash Christmas Special from her house to my headphones via the internet. I turned down the “music” and that’s when the sounds of squeaky chew toys were coming from someplace off in the distance. As the squeaky toy sound got louder, an avatar in the shape of a skunk run past my field of view. A man with a strap-on and a squirrel tail and a horse's head followed closely behind. Ah, those silly Furries are so funny.

My instant messages rang out yet again. “Hey it’s me from earlier in the newbie place. R u busy 2 haeve sex now?”

Okay, goodbye Second Life. I’m logging out now. Maybe I’ll log back in tomorrow.

“Hello?”

… Or maybe I won’t.

“R U still there?”

[Runned]

RIPOSTED

This game is just too weird, I ran into a yiffing room that had pictures of animals all over the walls and a bunch of furries dancing around. When I entered the room everyone just turned and looked at me; an army of horses, foxes, and raccoons turning to face me while still dancing like something out of the thriller music video.. If I were put into that situation IRL I would probably slit my throat ear to ear with my car keys before they could advance.

[isobelle]

age play friendly = it's cool if you want to have sex with an 8 year old, i can "roleplay" that for you.

Cub?

Yeah.

[Runned]

I "roleplay" an 8 year old whenever I don't get my way

I find that 8yo's are the best at roleplaying 8yo's when it comes to sex.

[Mordiceius]

I was so close to posting a joke about having sex with 8 year old boys, but then I had to go vomit and when I got back, I had forgotten the joke. :-(

[Kooter]

The internet is due for an implosion soon.

[Alihja]

Originally Posted by Kooter

The internet is due for an implosion soon.

I've spent several weeks "teleporting around" in Second Life to see as much of it as I could. The good, the bad, the ugly.

Second Life depicts the things that are amazingly cool; things that are twistedly demented, and things that are broken about the people who use the internet. All at once.

[colekutz]

Will those with a second life make sure that there is a break for snacks?

[derkaderka]

Originally Posted by Alihja

I've spent several weeks "teleporting around" in Second Life to see as much of it as I could. The good, the bad, the ugly.

Second Life depicts the things that are amazingly cool; things that are twistedly demented, and things that are broken about the people who use the internet. All at once.

Sounds like real life 0.o

[Alihja]

Originally Posted by derkaderka

Sounds like real life 0.o

I like your user name.

[Shatter]

Originally Posted by derkaderka

Sounds like real life 0.o

truth... blessed truth... interweb... this whole time i thought you were blind /kiss

[Naolin]

This game sounds too crazy for me too play (AND THATS SAYING A LOT) also whats the point if you don't get to kill mindless hordes of beasties and such? WHERE IS THE BLOOD, THE SLAUGHTER.

[isobelle]

last night a funny scenario occured to me.

go to an 'age playing friendly' area, and ask around for cyber. try to find a furry if you can (shouldn't be too hard). get cozy, and at the last second, twist the age around and ask to be treated like a 90 year old with erectile disfunction. tell them to 'love you anyway' even though you have liver spots, no teeth, and a colostomy bag full of fresh feces hanging from a rope around your neck.

when they tell you you're gross just say WELL FUCK YOU, YOU FURRY SON OF A BITCH. I THOUGHT YOU WERE AGE PLAY FRIENDLY. I DIDN'T MAKE FUN OF YOUR FAGGOT FOX TAIL YOU DOUBLE STANDARDIZING SHITTRAP. P.S. HATE TO BURST YOUR FANTASY THERE BUT YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING ANIMAL, I STOPPED WANTING TO 'GROW UP TO BE A HORSE' AROUND 3RD GRADE YOU FUCKING RETARD.

(then explain to them in tells that "shit-trap" is sometimes used as a loose synonym for colostomy bag, and now you're hornier than ever)

[Runned]

/\/\/\ I second this

[Kooter]

Pretend to be someone's grandma.

I think that would be comedy, more comedy, pretend to be a furry and someone's grandma.

And WTF is yiffing and why the fuck have furries not been burned at the stake yet.

I've never heard of this game before this article... is it free? Or is there a trial? I would love to see it, but hate to pay for it after reading this article :P

[Poistiant]

Originally Posted by Kooter

Pretend to be someone's grandma.

I think that would be comedy, more comedy, pretend to be a furry and someone's grandma.

And WTF is yiffing and why the fuck have furries not been burned at the stake yet.

Yiffing is furry sex :P

[isobelle]

Originally Posted by Poistiant

Yiffing is furry sex :P

but what does it mean?

Stab in the dark:

"Why, it's furries fucking!" (get it? Y I F F, lolz)


and yes, 2nd life is free to see. you 'pay' once you begin to 'own land' or whatever.. you can be an avatar with no crap for free though, and just stroll around and look at the ... inhabitants.

[Poistiant]

Originally Posted by isobelle

but what does it mean?

Stab in the dark:

"Why, it's furries fucking!" (get it? Y I F F, lolz)


and yes, 2nd life is free to see. you 'pay' once you begin to 'own land' or whatever.. you can be an avatar with no crap for free though, and just stroll around and look at the ... inhabitants.

Yiff

(n.) Yiff is said, in furry legend, to be the sound an excited fox makes, especially when mating with a fine vixen. Thus, yiff has drawn many sexual connotations in the furry world. Yiff can be the act of sex, sex itself, or simply an expression or exclamation as in "Yiff!"
(v.) The act of yiffing, mating, lovemaking, etc. Also, to make the sound "yiff" as an onomatopoeia.

[Balthial]

I like isobelle's definition better.

[Sinanjie]

Originally Posted by Runned

RIPOSTED

This game is just too weird, I ran into a yiffing room that had pictures of animals all over the walls and a bunch of furries dancing around. When I entered the room everyone just turned and looked at me; an army of horses, foxes, and raccoons turning to face me while still dancing like something out of the thriller music video.. If I were put into that situation IRL I would probably slit my throat ear to ear with my car keys before they could advance.

This gave me the jibbly jibblies. The hair on the back of my neck actually stood on end. Can't go to sleep now.

[Poistiant]

Originally Posted by Balthial

I like isobelle's definition better.

Sadly though mine is the right one

[Mordiceius]

Originally Posted by isobelle

(then explain to them in tells that "shit-trap" is sometimes used as a loose synonym for colostomy bag, and now you're hornier than ever)

This made me spit all over the keyboard.

Originally Posted by Poistiant

Sadly though mine is the right one

um, you DO realize you are admitting to authoritatively knowing the CORRECT definition of "Yiffing" don't you?

I don't even know what a furry is.

That's my story.

And I'm sticking to it.

Originally Posted by Guest

um, you DO realize you are admitting to authoritatively knowing the CORRECT definition of "Yiffing" don't you?

I don't even know what a furry is.

That's my story.

And I'm sticking to it.

I wish I didnt know what a furry is...

[dermien]

Furries completely ruined wildlife for me.

And a great display of "fursecution" as they call it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFykToGTL0k&eurl=

[Runned]

Originally Posted by Guest

um, you DO realize you are admitting to authoritatively knowing the CORRECT definition of "Yiffing" don't you?

I don't even know what a furry is.

That's my story.

And I'm sticking to it.

They dedicated an entire episode of CSI to furries, and even said what yiffing was. I didn't know what it was until I saw that episode.

[Mordiceius]

Originally Posted by Runned

They dedicated an entire episode of CSI to furries, and even said what yiffing was. I didn't know what it was until I saw that episode.

you're not smart enough to watch CSI. quit lying.

[Kooter]

Furries and fanfics are ruining the INTARWEB.

Needs more plain old big tittie pr0n and world of warcrack...

[Lesson25]

Originally Posted by Runned

I "roleplay" an 8 year old whenever I don't get my way

Do you have any tips? I've been trying to RL a younger player lately, but I find after a few hours its actually DIFFICULT to continuously act immature, not to mention lay off the big words & proper grammar.

Originally Posted by Guest

um, you DO realize you are admitting to authoritatively knowing the CORRECT definition of "Yiffing" don't you?

I don't even know what a furry is.

That's my story.

And I'm sticking to it.

Go jump in a meatgrinder guest

[Poistiant]

I was a guest when I said that

[Fastinyoh]

Originally Posted by Runned

RIPOSTED

This game is just too weird, I ran into a yiffing room that had pictures of animals all over the walls and a bunch of furries dancing around. When I entered the room everyone just turned and looked at me; an army of horses, foxes, and raccoons turning to face me while still dancing like something out of the thriller music video.. If I were put into that situation IRL I would probably slit my throat ear to ear with my car keys before they could advance.

Creepy.

Well, it's not usually my thing, but i really can't say i mind if other people enjoy looking like animals and pretending to sex each other up. Keep in mind that there are nerds who would dress as anime characters and do the same thing in real life. There are people who would play games in which all you do is kill things all day (WoW). There are people who bought Deer Hunter (wtf).

We allow ugly people to walk around unchallenged. I think that's far more dangerous.

[Mordiceius]

Originally Posted by Guest

We allow ugly people to walk around unchallenged. I think that's far more dangerous.

You my dear guest are winner of the "Best Guest Post Ever" award. Please register and stick around.

[mven]

Dude we need more ugly people walking around wtf are you talking about? How else will I be able to look at myself in the mirror and say "Whew! At least it's not that bad..."

[Incompatible]

Originally Posted by Guest

We allow ugly people to walk around unchallenged. I think that's far more dangerous.

I now realize my goal in life. Instead of destroying the world by hacking the US defense network and launching our nukes all over the world or pumping enough plutonium into the core to cause the world to crack, I will now enlist a following of ugly people to exterminate ugly people. And it really won't matter which side is suffering more losses since either way my goal is being accomplished.

[3rectus]

I looked over to see a naked newbie standing next to me. At some point during his avatar creation process, he ended up sporting a camel toe.

hahahaha

[Ged]

Wow, this game sounds........err......odd?