Azeroth Report: Non Habitable

[Runned]

Stardate 4236.9,

This message is intended to reach our superiors on our home planet, however with our recent equipment malfunctions it is hard to tell if it will reach its destination. We hope that at the very least this message will serve as a warning for anyone who happens upon it. We have failed our mission, and now await a long slow death on this planet as we are stranded here without any supplies and a broken space vessel. There are only two of us here, our superiors have more than likely presumed that we have failed our mission and have no intentions on sending a rescue party. My name is Dowsheflo and my partner is Grenstoole; We are Darkonians from the Planet Diamond Matchbox 32, a world on the brink of extinction. A million years of pollution and war have left our planet barren and nearly inhabitable. We are members of an elite space program used to probe the far reaches of the universe in search of a new home for our people, which is why we were sent to this god forsaken planet.

Initiate Message:

While orbiting the planet, our permiter scans were unable to determine if it was habitable by our race. We were able to confirm however that this planet was already populated by a seemingly advanced race of people. To be safe we decided against landing and making contact, but rather to use our telepathic abilities to gain control of two bodies and explore without risking any harm to us or our equipment. We chose our hosts at random as they were wrestling naked in a large pool of boar fat and harpe blood. Not to blow our cover, we assumed the names of these Azerothians and tried to mimic their behavior as genuinely as possible. Both had tattoo's on their back side with what we assumed was their names. The bald green one had the tattoo "Runned" and the Long grey haired one had the tattoo "Supertron".

We beamed down a couple pieces of equipment to aid us with our exploration and began. Our first encounter with a new species didn't go nearly as well as we had hoped it would.



We took note of our findings and continued on. We started to interact verbally with our allies and found that a good place to find a large diverse group of Azerothians was a place called Warsong Gulch. We Quickly found out that I (assuming the name supertron) was not welcome there by our own allies.



We did not come to this planet to make friends anyhow, we shrugged off the rude comments and continued our investigation. The next species we found was very hard for us to catalogue. They ran really fast and never engaged in combat like the other races we saw. We labeled this race Druidus Flagrunnerus. It seems our scanners had an adverse reaction to them as well.



There was one Druidicus Flagrunnerus in particular that we unfortunately had to scan numerous times, as our equipment was beginning to malfunction. After four attempts we were able to obtain a sufficient amount of data from this creature, however our scanners were beginning to emit a strange orange glow. They started to overheat, and were soon too hot to be handled casually. It was time for us to retreat back to our space craft and begin to sort our data. We thought it would be wise to gain two more samples before leaving, for good measure. This was our gravest mistake.

Only one race remained, the fabled Dwarficus Dancefunnicus. After searching long and far, we came across two who were doing what they do best: dancing and consuming pie. We approached them and initiated our scans, when something horrible happened:



After completely disintegrating these dwarves, the two rays of light from our scanners shot directly into space. The energy it produced mixed with the gasses and minerals in the atmosphere and created an enormous ball of fire which was on a path of fiery destruction toward our space craft- and our bodies. We tried desperately to end the telepathic link so we could pilot our ship out of harms way, but the radiation from the fire ball prevented us. We had no other choice but to look up at the sky and watch as our bodies plummeted to the ground.

As we approached our space craft; which was now a large mass of twisted steel, the telepathic link we had with these creatures began to fade. Soon we were unwillingly back in our bodies. Our bones were broken and our flesh was but bloody pulp. The two Azerothians we had inhabited began to rummage through our space craft, only to assemble our bodies in homo erotic positions and laughing uncontrollably. Eventually they got bored and left, and with our last breathes we recorded this one final log.

It's extremely hard for me to think straight right now. My space suit is filled with blood and feces, and my partner is undoubtedly dead by now. All this research was for nothing, I only hope our people do not send a second team of explorers to this planet.

[Itdano]

This story made me sad. I wept a little. On the inside.

I enjoyed it

made the blood rush to my penis

[Unregistard]

Originally Posted by Runned

My space suit is filled with blood and feces

[Runned]

swimming in your own waste

[Ged]

Originally Posted by Runned

swimming in your own waste

Well dont tou do that at swimming baths but its mostly other peoples waste?
:eek:

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