We've been together for a while now Notaddicted.com, I feel like I can tell you anything. It's like...we're meant to be together. So, I guess it's time to let you know: It is my aspiration to become a video game reviewer. YES! Like so many directionless, lazy, pot-smoking teenagers in this country I want to be payed to play video games. Why, you ask? Because I want to give something back to this earth that has given me so, so much. Sure, I can continue to deep fry potatoes to the delight of children everywhere; but I can do more. I can do something that will make a difference in the lives of the many. So without further hesitaton or...um... salutation, I present you Gaston's Game reviews 2006.
Note: Being on a tight video game budget requires me to only work with the titles I have in my apartment right now.
World of Warcraft
I thought this would be a fitting start seeing as it is the game that has engrossed me the most over the past year, and boy will it engross you! You'll be so completely engrossed out that you'll never eschew it.
The Basics: "Once again the drums of war sound!" Get out your +1 Shortsword and Codpiece of Thrusting, because Azeroth needs your help! Take up arms in this fully interactive world. And when I say interactive, I mean it; fully converse with well over 5,000 colorful charcters in this soon-to-be-a-hit computer game from Blizzard!
The Dizzying Highs: The strongest aspect of this game is definitely the character dialogue. Using some remarkable new technology, characters in the game will actually respond to everything that you say. Serious! I've had full conversations with almost everyone I've met there! Also, you're probably used to NPC's just standing around, waiting to be talked to, right? Not now! Characters run and jump and play all around you, even soliciting you for goods and services (Just a piece of advice to the devs: you might want to clean up that dialogue a little bit, some of the grammar was atrocious)!
The Lowliest Lows: No complaints from this fiesty little level 3 Gnome Warrior. If you're ever on Terenas server look up Aracornnn (unfortunately, the game wouldn't let me enter a better name because the developers had used all the good ones for their own characters).
In Summation: Great visuals, great replayability, great dialogue, and great dance moves makes for a gr8 (oops, guess some of that bad grammar is catching on!) game! Kudos to you Blizzard. You get a full 10 Points!
Half-Life
This is an indy title that came out not too long ago by a company called Value. I suppose they chose their name due to the budget graphics they use. However, there is talk of a sequel that will be coming out soon; let's just hope it moves them into the 21st century!
The Basics: You play the game as Gordon Freedman, an office intern that has had extensive training with a variety of firearms (it's a good thing our intern here doesn't know how to use a firearm, or we'd be in a lot of trouble!). Using an arsenal that ranges from a simple handgun to a complicated handgun, it's your job to fight your way out of a trans-dimensional experiment gone wild!
The Dizzying Highs: The game goes at a brisk pace as you navigate the research facility's hallways in a desperate bid for survival. I would've liked to see more of Gordon's intern side come into play. Maybe a sequence where he has to juggle two trays of Starbucks to one of the meeting rooms? Aside from that, it was fun putting holes in those aliens, and it wasn't long before I started quoting Will Smith from ID4. "I gotta get me one of dese!"
The Lowliest Lows: I was disappointed with the game's political statements. When your character finally gets to the surface you are forced to mow down ranks of U.S. soldiers. I mean, they're only there to help! You should have the option of joining the U.S. military to collaboratively fight the alien menace. Maybe, the game could even end when you reach the surface. Imagine this for an ending sequence:
Bruised and Bloody you stumble up to Commander in Chief George Bush and say "The bad guys are in there!" Looking at you with a twinkle in his eye, he says "Thank you soldier, you've done your part for America today. Why don't you take tommorrow off?" Then you and he have have a good laugh as jetfighters trail red, white, and blue smoke overhead.
In Summation: While this game has its moments, it doesn't focus enough on the real enemy of the United States; the Middle East. 3 Points.
The Oregon Trail
This is an oldie but a goodie. I remember learning so much from this game about settlers crossing the great plains of the United States (although, it was called the United Kingdom back then). So grab yerself a bucket o' shot and get ready to kill some vermits!
The Basics: As a wagon riding American settler, you need to take that famous road linking the East Coast to the West Coast, or as it is known today, Interstate 25.
The Dizzying Highs: I think we can all agree that the best part of this game is shooting wild animals in the forest, then drowning your family. If you get good enough at the game you can pick them off one at a time (you're family, that is) and unlock a secret mission (or so I've read on fansites)!
The Lowliest Lows: It was psuedo-educational. They never released a sequel.
In Summation: This game really paved the way for such later greats like Maniac Mansion and Doom 3. Thanks Oregon Trail, we couldn't have done it without you! 9 olde thyme Points!
Linear Mode
