Little Trouble in Big China

[Runned]

What is the price of gold? Well according to Spot Commodity it’s about $493/ounce, or more simply put, the soul of a poor Chinaman. The forced slavery of the once proud Chinese people in the world of Azeroth has become more rampant now than ever. It seems now a days you can’t throw a rock in any direction without someone shouting back “why me hit with rock you thrown?? T_T.” During the progression of this article we will explore in depth the severity of this issue, and give you tips on how to prevent this from spreading to your favorite experience/gold farming areas.

Since the dawn of civilization, farming has been the biggest foundation for societies everywhere. Tribes of hunter and gatherers can now stop following herds year round, and set up camps and villages. Who would have thought that several thousands of years later the word “Farming” would be associated with greedy assholes who rape and pillage for gold? If you asked a tribesman that question now, his response would most likely be, “UNGA DUPLA CACA GOLDAFARMA GANHOSA LALALALA!” Which, as you can clearly see, expresses his disgust. We are undoubtedly proposed with a serious issue here, how are we as a society going to deal with it?

Surely we could go on a killing spree, committing acts of genocide against every gold farmer we come across, destroying their seed and preventing future generations from forming (which is still a viable option, you know, just throwing it on the table…) Oh, you want to do this a little more humane? All right Mr. Serious Business, let’s do it your way. Here I have compiled a list of instructions of what you should do when confronted with one. If you follow this guide you shouldn’t have any more problems, and we as a community will be one step closer to eradicating this kind of behavior for our future generations of orclings.

The first thing you need to know is how to identify whether or not someone is in fact a Chinese gold farmer. Here are a few tips that I hope help you with this task:

· First Tip: The very first thing you will notice is their horrible grasp on the english language. If you have to read what they say three or four times, and still don't understand, it's already too late. Possible examples are:

1.)


2.)



· Second Tip: They are wearing BARE MINIMUM armor, the cheapest they can get ahold of. Whatever it takes to get the job done.



Once you are confronted with one, and are able to verify that it is indeed a Chinese gold farmer, here are a few tips on how to handle the situation:



· First Tip: YOU MUST RIDICULE AND HUMILIATE THEM AT ALL COSTS!

1.) Once a man is sold into Chinese slavery, they are not men anymore. They are brain washed and given special training on how to be complete retards. They are scum whose lives are worthless to everyone; so don’t feel guilty while treating them like shit!

2.) By doing this, you will discourage future generations of gold farmers from entering their father's/mother's profession. That or you'll incur the wrath of a vengeful relative and therefore completely screw up your chances of leveling in peace for at least a week.

· Second Tip: REHABILITATION IS NOT AN OPTION!

1.) Do not feel sympathy for them; do not try to assist them. They are already an empty shell filled with a deep seeded hatred.

2.) If you try to assist them with their freedom/rehabilitation you will only leave yourself open to attack and/or trains. The emancipation of these people IS NOT WORTH THE LOSS OF ITEM DURABILITY!

3.) Do NOT report them to GMs. Getting a gold farmer banned will increase the price of gold, and that extra cost will come out of God-fearing American's wallets and go straight into communist China's hands.


· Third Tip: Squeeze them for all they are worth; like a dirty, stinky, used gym towel.
This was an idea from my buddy Iluv (he's azn too so it's ok)

1.) Create a C.O.D with "Here have this gold" and the message "please take this gold, you can have it." Attach a nice little item like a piece of cloth or a mining pick. Send it to your neighborhood gold farmer.


2.) Receive the gold.


3.) Recieve the angry letter 2 minutes later that you can't understand.


If one of you lovely internet people can translate that, I'll pass the message on to Iluv.

I've made some improvements on Iluv's method by using some tried and true mailing techniques.

There's a million more where those came from,


Do real spammers make this much money?


· Fourth Tip: Learn how to speak their language. Yes, we've all seen broken translations like:

Xiang he wo yi qi da gui shou ma - do you want to group with me to kill some monsters?
Ni zai zheng qian ma? - are you farming gold?
yao dou shao jing zi? - how much gold?
Wo shi mei guo ren! - I am special, you are a shit on goat's piss!

But are you really going to remember any of those? And what happens when they respond? Instead you should learn functional WoW Chinese. Simply take any verb such as "move, run, hit, swing, shoot" and replace it with "action" and a smiley face.

"how u action so fast ^^"
">| action him out of group"
"want to action my buttt :p~~~~"

If you reach the end of this guide, and none of its contents helped you at all, refer to this one last tip:

FINAL TIP: Give up and join them. Sure it's a long plane ride, you'll miss your family, and when they play WoW it's not for fun. But lets compare lifestyles:

You eat: They eat:

You live in: a dirty apartment with a broken fire alarm and pee in your sink
They live in: an 8x5 space with a tidy cot and a secure, 24/7 bolted door courtesy of IGE. (I don't know where or if they pee)

You smoke: They smoke:

When you play WoW: You grind UBRS and AV for hours in hopes of obtaining better equipment that will help you grind UBRS and AV.
When they play wow: They open the same treasure chests and kill the same mobs for hours in hopes of earning enough to never have to play WoW again.

Only one of you is actually accomplishing something.

I really hope all of you anonymous internet consumers have learned something from this guide. If history has taught us one thing, it's that slavery completely destroys the economy of any society. We as citizens of Azeroth must put this disgusting use of inhumane treatment to a stop, for the future of our orclings. So please, if you come across an enslavement camp, make sure to refer to this handy guide. Stay safe, Stay strong, and most importantly: Stay free from gold farmers.

bullshit

Cao Ni Ma = fuck your mother

dont know the rest of it.

theres no conection between azn golden farmers and chinese ppl(china). first, they dont do drag anymore.
second, "an 8x5 space with a tidy cot and a secure, 24/7 bolted door courtesy of IGE." LMFAO, how old are you?
third, letters are not their language.
4th, i hate racism

This guy sure is angeeeeeeeery!

Oh i love it! I salute this posts greatness.

[Frybread]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

third, letters are not their language.

We never said that! Smiley faces are their language.

So after reading this post last night, I decided to try it out.

Simple guide for those of you who don't know where to start.
/who 60 hunter mara
If you see a bunch, try to individually /who on them, find their guilds, and /who the guild name, if it seems like a farmer guild (lots of 60 members in lower instances, the Plagues) then send it to the guild.

Now that you've identified a few farmers and their guild, send them mail.

Something along the lines of what the post had, CoD something worthless, and mail it off for 50-100g.

Log in the next day, open up your mail, voila, insta-gold. Fastest farming I've ever done!


Out of the 4 people I actually sent mail out to, one fell for it, and paid my 100g CoD. Talk about a good ratio of people!

[Frybread]

The war against the gold farmers has begun.

Would you like 1000g for Free me CHINA.

[Runned]

Originally Posted by The CHINA MAN

Would you like 1000g for Free me CHINA.

Re: Do you like hot teen girls?

Oh, that is awesome. Almost enough to make me want to resub!

In the letter that was sent back from when you spammed him/her, it said :

Please give me back my money, or I am dead for sure.

Just for your curiousity =D

Did it with bleach, nearest vendor was a tailoring supplier. Sent COD for 100g saying "here is the gold you want, please take it". Next day I get COD payment received. Amazing!

Was most impressed at the efficiency and relative simplicity of this system.

Have implemented these "changes" and have thus far worked with positive results.

Would anyone translate Bu Dong for me? and Kan Bu Dong...

I'm assuming they are telling me to go and fornicate w/myself...

Think the next phase will implement directly insulting them as they normally play dumb with the other questions...

500 bread ok?

I know a better way to find farmers.. You do /who mara or plagues. Next u whisper them individually saying: Ni zai zheng qian ma? which means are u farming gold? and then say: yao dou shao jing zi? after they reply which means how much gold? This will tell you how much gold they have so u dont COD them too much or too little. I tried it out and grouped up with a few, ofcourse they didnt buy that i was a farmer since i had my gutgore ripper on :O i shoulda dumped it in the bank first, and my server is low pop so not many farmers and i guess that ruined my rep with the farmers... no more scamming for me...

PS - 60 Rogue Horde Spinebreaker

After amassing nearly 1000g from the Alliance farmers on Hyjal, they seem to have spread the word that somebody is attempting to relieve them of a few gold coins by means of simple subterfuge.

My attempts this week haven't met with any particular success, and one can only assume that IGE, Bankismyhome, Danelkitty etc etc have spread the word to their employees to maintain vigilance against such mail scams.

This fucks me off no end, you see, I want more than I can afford "in-game". Not for any particular reason other than I like to have showy equipment so I can look down my nose at pixellated computer images controlled by other "humans" and feel a greater sense of propriety about myself.

Now, much to my fucking indignation, the seemingly endless swarms of the Farmer class on Hyjal have said "Enough" and will not send me the 100g they have spent so long farming. I deserve their gold, I've copied a simple scam that someone else on the internet told me to do and now after much success, they've gotten wise to me. This isn't good enough, I shouldn't have to go out and grind away at things to obtain money, or levels. This is a computer game, I play it to have "fun" and I'm not having fun by wasting countless hours sitting on my arse bashing keys for money I cannot use in the real world.

Essentially, what I'm saying is, I deserve "Easy Street", by simple virtue of the fact that I log on when I feel so compelled to do so. If Blizzard cannot provide me with the entertainment I seek, then I'm cancelling my account and deleting my 2x lvl60 toons.

BLUE PLEASE RESPOND

[Runned]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

After amassing nearly 1000g from the Alliance farmers on Hyjal, they seem to have spread the word that somebody is attempting to relieve them of a few gold coins by means of simple subterfuge.

My attempts this week haven't met with any particular success, and one can only assume that IGE, Bankismyhome, Danelkitty etc etc have spread the word to their employees to maintain vigilance against such mail scams.

This fucks me off no end, you see, I want more than I can afford "in-game". Not for any particular reason other than I like to have showy equipment so I can look down my nose at pixellated computer images controlled by other "humans" and feel a greater sense of propriety about myself.

Now, much to my fucking indignation, the seemingly endless swarms of the Farmer class on Hyjal have said "Enough" and will not send me the 100g they have spent so long farming. I deserve their gold, I've copied a simple scam that someone else on the internet told me to do and now after much success, they've gotten wise to me. This isn't good enough, I shouldn't have to go out and grind away at things to obtain money, or levels. This is a computer game, I play it to have "fun" and I'm not having fun by wasting countless hours sitting on my arse bashing keys for money I cannot use in the real world.

Essentially, what I'm saying is, I deserve "Easy Street", by simple virtue of the fact that I log on when I feel so compelled to do so. If Blizzard cannot provide me with the entertainment I seek, then I'm cancelling my account and deleting my 2x lvl60 toons.

BLUE PLEASE RESPOND

haha I can just see chinese farmers in an "office space" esc office building and the manager going up to one of them saying "hmmm I see you gave away 100g, did you get that memo we went out? I'll make sure to send you another copy mmmmmmk?"

[Saediien]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

After amassing nearly 1000g from the Alliance farmers on Hyjal, they seem to have spread the word that somebody is attempting to relieve them of a few gold coins by means of simple subterfuge.

My attempts this week haven't met with any particular success, and one can only assume that IGE, Bankismyhome, Danelkitty etc etc have spread the word to their employees to maintain vigilance against such mail scams.

This fucks me off no end, you see, I want more than I can afford "in-game". Not for any particular reason other than I like to have showy equipment so I can look down my nose at pixellated computer images controlled by other "humans" and feel a greater sense of propriety about myself.

Now, much to my fucking indignation, the seemingly endless swarms of the Farmer class on Hyjal have said "Enough" and will not send me the 100g they have spent so long farming. I deserve their gold, I've copied a simple scam that someone else on the internet told me to do and now after much success, they've gotten wise to me. This isn't good enough, I shouldn't have to go out and grind away at things to obtain money, or levels. This is a computer game, I play it to have "fun" and I'm not having fun by wasting countless hours sitting on my arse bashing keys for money I cannot use in the real world.

Essentially, what I'm saying is, I deserve "Easy Street", by simple virtue of the fact that I log on when I feel so compelled to do so. If Blizzard cannot provide me with the entertainment I seek, then I'm cancelling my account and deleting my 2x lvl60 toons.

BLUE PLEASE RESPOND

lolz learn2make$irl n00b stop crying

[Alihja]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Essentially, what I'm saying is, I deserve "Easy Street", by simple virtue of the fact that I log on when I feel so compelled to do so. If Blizzard cannot provide me with the entertainment I seek, then I'm cancelling my account and deleting my 2x lvl60 toons.

BLUE PLEASE RESPOND

Dear Unregistered,

... can i have all of ur stuff? thx!

Sounds fun.. but risky.. wouldnt Bliz kick you in the balls for doing this?
Wouldnt want to risk losing my account trying to get revenge on the ninja farmers.

[Frybread]

Farmers are trained to farm, not to report people.

*sigh*, I wish we had chinese gold farmers on european servers. The only chinise people are bloody Triads. They don't farm gold fer sure.

SO PLZ HLP.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

*sigh*, I wish we had chinese gold farmers on european servers. The only chinise people are bloody Triads. They don't farm gold fer sure.

SO PLZ HLP.

don't you guys use turks and ukranians for that sort of thing?

You might need a new phrase list, but the basic /who 60 maur should still show you who's who.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Was most impressed at the efficiency and relative simplicity of this system.

Have implemented these "changes" and have thus far worked with positive results.

Would anyone translate Bu Dong for me? and Kan Bu Dong...

I'm assuming they are telling me to go and fornicate w/myself...

Think the next phase will implement directly insulting them as they normally play dumb with the other questions...

500 bread ok?

Bu Dong = I don't understand

Originally Posted by Unregistered

don't you guys use turks and ukranians for that sort of thing?

You might need a new phrase list, but the basic /who 60 maur should still show you who's who.

Interestingly enough, no.

I added two suspicious hunters to my friend list and monitored them, after seeing them in Maraudon for 12 hours straight logging off and in every 5th minute or so I decided to send them a letter, although neither of them got tricked, one of them whispered "RAS" to me the next day when I logged on.

What does it mean?

[Uncle Morgy]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

one of them whispered "RAS" to me the next day when I logged on.

What does it mean?

It's chinese gold farmer slang for "Good day to you, and let the record stand that I wish your mother, whilest carrying you as an unborn child, was vaginally assaulted with a coat hangar."

If you ask me, these internet acronyms are getting out of hand.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

don't you guys use turks and ukranians for that sort of thing?

Not when every single turk is wearing full tier 1/2 suit on every server.

http://www.nickyee.com/daedalus/arch...493.php?page=1

Have a read....it changed my perspective on farmers.

I hate racists, They're almost as bad as the chinese people.

[Mordiceius]

Sadly the chinese on our server are not stupid enough to fall for this trick. :-( They start speaking to me in chinese and I start panicing.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I hate racists, They're almost as bad as the chinese people.

LOOOOOOOOOOL

I am soo gonna try this. The brilliance of it is that they wont report u for scamming because theyre afraid you'll report them for farming and selling gold.

Originally Posted by Uncle Morgy

It's chinese gold farmer slang for "Good day to you, and let the record stand that I wish your mother, whilest carrying you as an unborn child, was vaginally assaulted with a coat hangar."

If you ask me, these internet acronyms are getting out of hand.

this one made me waffle

you guys make monday morning suicide seem silly

[Mageyoulook]

I tried this with a couple of people i saw around azeroth. one was a guy i saw killing tar lurkers in un'goro when i was lvl 50, then i saw him again when i was lvl 60 doin a libram quest. i questioned him, he didnt reply, and i COD'd him a linen cloth for 100g. didnt work and then i made a lvl 1 toon and tried it on a lot of american toons lol. got back so many threats of "REPORTED" and deleted that toon (i named him "Xia wei" which means "Hawaii") plz give more ideas lol

Originally Posted by Unregistered

third, letters are not their language.

Correct, its called Pinyin

Also on this you said Wo shi mei guo ren! that means I am an american lol nonetheless good post

it worked 7 times for me already

[swizzle]

*8 times now.. mieuwmieuwmiuew!!

Poor chineese I have made about 2,500g in the past few days just by sending out mail-scams. I do a BG and I find out that I just made 100G

-Gagnsta SEIG ZEON!!!!!