Although hard to believe, it has already been 10 Norrathian years since the beginnings of the ‘Save the Spiderlings’
movement -- yes, I can see you shaking your head incredulously, but it’s true-- many people ask me how the movement has been going, how the spiderlings are doing, and what ever happened to all the pioneers of spiderling conservationism from years past. With this special, Not Addicted version of Save the Spiderlings, now all those questions and more can be answered.
First, and as sad as it is for me to say this, the movement itself has been a stunning failure. More details are forthcoming in an up-to-the-minute report on the status of the remaining spiderling species, and the news is dire indeed, but let’s not dwell on that. Rather, let’s focus on all those fine folks that have tried their damnedest to save these precious creatures.
Let’s first thank one of our most generous and most dedicated donors, Zypp of Druzzil Ro. He tirelessly scoured the bazaar for donations all hours of the day and night, and is a well-known philanthropist in many other matters as well.
Next, what ever happened to Ploppee? Well, bowl after bowl of spiderling legs finally caught up to him, I’m afraid.
And did that spiderling poacher ever get caught? Why yes, thanks to our operatives in the field, he was finally apprehended. Here’s his story:
According to hospital records, the bard was admitted (and permanently committed) two days later complaining violently of ‘fractal spiderlings scuba diving under my skin – or snorkeling, can’t tell’. The moral of that story is to not fry your brains with hallucinogens. Oh, and to not poach spiderlings! He and his little brain got what they deserved.
Our next big question is, of course, where are all the spiderlings now? Which ones became extinct? What happened to all that fancy GPS technology and how can I strap it to my head so I have a ready-made map in every single zone? Whatever happened to that wooly I adopted? All those questions and more will be revealed (but not the answers) in our next installment!