NotAddicted

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Be advised that casinos encourage spam and scamming, and there have been a resounding number of complaints about the gambling practice. As such, should a character be found running a casino disciplinary action will be taken.
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They had their reasons; it was overloading customer support with fraud complaints, it flooded chat channels, and caused a large amount of level 1 naked night elves/orcs with names like "Cassinnooo" eternally dancing around the bank. But was it right for Blizzard to shut down player-created games? Was this another example of their desire to control every aspect of the player's gaming experience? The reaction to the ruling was a resounding, "who cares" or in some cases, gratitude. Worldofwar.net, a major WoW news site, wrote: “…and with that, those stupid casinos will finally be gone.”

This bingo story is dedicated to Lord Sargeras, creator of life on Azeroth, whose fire-drenched body reveals to us an endless furnace of blistering hate.

 
[14:30:11][Fansy] yells: HELLO ORGRIMMAR
[14:30:15][Fansy] yells: B-I-N-G-O ** Come support the Church of Lord Sargeras, creator of life and burning! ** 20silver per card, jackpots from 1 to 5 gold. MEET IN FRONT OF THE HOLY INN!
[14:31:10][Basstaper] yells: Cant you get banned for that?
[14:31:18][Minkyboodle] says: It's for a good cause!
 
 
To play bingo you first have to make Bingo cards.
 
[13:40:59][Party] [Minkyboodle]: how many bingo cards ya got?
[13:41:09][Party] [Fansy]: I can mass produce them for only 30c each!
 

 
[13:41:57][Party] [Fansy]: mailing you a new card!
[13:42:01][Party] [Minkyboodle]: most normal bingo games take about 10-15 min
[13:42:13][Party] [Fansy]: well I don't think anyone has that sort of attention span
[13:42:24][Party] [Fansy]: I know I don't
[13:42:36][Party] [Minkyboodle]: Me neither... my grandma used to drag me to them
[13:42:54][Party] [Minkyboodle]: she wore a hat JUST LIKE THIS ONE to the bingo hall too!!
.

 
Now that we had cards, we were ready to start yelling as loud as we could.
 
[14:32:57][Minkyboodle] says: First, there was FIRE and it was good, and then there was MORE FIRE, and it too, was good... and then, the mighty SARGERAS warned the people to repent their watery sins through B*I*N*G*O* and there was much rejoicing.
[14:33:13][Fansy] yells: BINGO CARDS 20s EACH AT THE INN! PLAY NOW! SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL CHURCH
[14:33:56][Karispera] yells: FANSY IS A FAG, DONT LISTEN TO HIM
 
A possible customer walks by the bingo hall, and I give him the hard-sell.
 
[14:33:34][Party] [Fansy]: Hail Clypsamba, would you like to buy a bingo card for 20s to support the Church of Sargeras? Jackpot is up to 5 gold PRAISE THE FIRE!
[14:33:49][Clypsamba] whispers: so what happens when i give u 20s ?
[14:33:54]To [Clypsamba]: you get a card
[14:33:58][Clypsamba] whispers: what card ?
[14:34:06]To [Clypsamba]: a bingo card, and then we play a game called bingo
 
It took a lot of convincing, and nobody seemed interested except when they told us to shut up. We knew Lord Sargeras would never open his inferno-like heart to a Bingo hall that did not raise thousands of gold, and we were getting worried.
 
[14:34:13][Fansy] yells: Come to the Inn to play Bingo - This is not a scam operation anymore it is 100% legit!! LORD SARGERAS WILL BURN SCAMMERS
[14:34:27][Karispera] yells: HE’LL BURN YOU THEN
[14:34:34][1. General] [Zwartkop]: everyone ignore fansy because he is an idiot
[14:34:14][Clypsamba] whispers: how much can i win ?
[14:34:20]To [Clypsamba]: 5 gold
 
We were about to give up when a miracle happened: somebody bought one.
 
[14:34:35][Fansy] says: Lord Sargeras smiles upon your purchase Clypsamba, may he bless you with burning from the fires of a forsaken world forgotten eons ago!
[14:34:39][Party] [Fansy]: sold one!
[14:34:47][Party] [Minkyboodle]: YES
[15:34:59][Minkyboodle] says: Oh, kind and gentle Clypsamba... May Lord Sargeras bless you and keep you in your time of adversity... and may He rain hot fiery coals to sear the vas deferens of your enemies.
[14:35:09][Clypsamba] whispers: i dont get it
 
We finally had enough sales to start the first ever game of WoW Bingo, and the calls began.
 
[14:40:04]Fansy rolls 6 (1-18)
[14:40:21][Basstaper] says: Damn
[14:40:22][Clypsamba] says: i gots that ..
[14:40:23][Fansy] yells: B - 6, if you have the number 6 please check it off of your cards. B - 6
[14:40:41]Fansy rolls 14 (1-18)
[14:40:43][1. General] [Ima]: man fansy is annoying
 
30 minutes and 100 gold later, our Bingo Hall was starting to do pretty well.
 

 
[14:38:35][Thesickness] says: dude the macros kick ass
[14:38:52][Suparjaya] says: id say
 
[16:06:28][Fansy] yells: G – 5, if you have the number 5 please check it off your cards. G - 5
[16:06:51][Freddi] says: i think i got bingo
[16:06:52][Minkyboodle] says: Yay Freddi, bring that card on up!
[16:07:07]Fansy inspects the card
[16:07:18][Fansy] says: We've got a bingo!
[16:07:23][Minkyboodle] says: YAY
[16:07:23][Freddi] says: yay
[16:07:25][Kob] says: IF I LOSE ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO SLAM MY BALLS IN A DOOR
[16:07:27]Judith claps excitedly for Freddi.
[16:07:32][Fansy] yells: Freddi has bingo, Lord Sargeras has blessed him with a fiery bingo ball of endless hate!
 
Actually it was doing really well. People had been starved for months by the rules put in place, and their urge to support a religious fundraiser couldn’t have been greater.
 

 
Our success did not go unnoticed by those who prefer state over church. What would Lord Sargeras think? Would he speak in our defense should authorities arrive? We could do nothing but hope as the attacks on our casino began.
 
[14:38:01][Suparjaya] says: fansy=reported
 
[15:02:37][Fansy] yells: B-Nine, if you have the number nine please check it off your cards!
[15:02:52][Muridius] yells: your on crack
[15:03:07][Muridius] yells: crackheads
[15:03:38][Fansy] yells: Eight, if you have the number eight check it off your cards. AND MY LORD SARGERAS SEND BURNING FLAEMS TO MURIDIUS FOR MOCKING THE HOLY GAME OF BINGO
[15:05:56][Malkoo] says: u guys know this is going to get u banned...
[15:06:04][Malkoo] says: Its illegal
[15:06:12][Minkyboodle] says: SAEGERAS shall protect us
 
[15:22:33][Fansy] yells: Lord Sargeras wants everyone to play Bingo!
[15:22:40][Searinox] yells: EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO SHUT UP
[15:23:30][Reflection] yells: join a roleplaying server loser
[15:23:54][Reflection] yells: reported
[15:32:59][Unufalready] whispers: thats ilegal u know, casinos
[15:33:38]To [Unufalready]: You don't understand ignorant fool, Lord Sargeras has shown us the light of fire and agony and we are raising funds to spread his word.
[15:37:43][1. General] [Courtney]: /ignore fansy for the win
[16:00:25][Smôken] yells: its a scam
[16:04:30][Shadowaxe] yells: shut the hell up fansy you moron
[15:47:02][1. General] [Badmojo]: i think its just an excuse to let fansy molest altar boys
 
Vexen was determined to convince the Bingo hall to close up, less we get a horrible “3 day ban”. Can you imagine being exiled from Azeroth for 3 whole days? We were treading on some thin ice, the type that would melt should Lord Sargeras sit on it with his lava filled bum.
 
[15:12:12][Vexen] whispers: you know that's against the toc?
[15:12:21][Vexen] whispers: any type of gamling games
[15:12:48][Vexen] whispers: its gambling because you have to pay money in order to have a chance at winning money in return
[15:12:50]To [Vexen]: don't you see this is for fundraising
[15:13:18][Vexen] whispers: trust me people have tried to make it look like different things, they'll ban you anyways for 72hours its not fun trust me
[15:13:27][Fansy] yells: What are you talking about gambling? That doesn't make sense. We are a fundraiser for a church!
[15:13:41][Vexen] yells: go read the toc
[15:13:56][Vexen] yells: fine get banned , goodluck :)
[15:14:09][Fansy] yells: Bingo is not some seedy game of poker, I wish you good day sir
[15:14:10][Xenterp] yells: casino :)
[15:15:01][Vexen] whispers: bingo is gambling, its like that in the real world too you're required to be 18 or have a parental guardian with you because it's a form of gambling
[15:15:23][Vexen] whispers: if someone reports you you're toast, i wouldnt say its worth a 3 day ban if i havn't tried it myself
[15:15:41]To [Vexen]: Lord Sargeras smiles upon all of us who fundraise for him
[15:15:53][Vexen] whispers: even if it is a fundraiser, there is still an element of gambling within that game because people are paying money to win money
[15:16:07][Vexen] whispers: you cant 'hide' the fact that you're charging people to have a chance at winning money
[15:16:29]To [Vexen]: What you don't understand is that bingo is fundraising for a church, not seedy gambling in Reno
[15:16:38][Vexen] whispers: do what you want man , they're extremely strict on their policy against in-game gambling
[15:16:49][Vexen] whispers: they dont give warnings
[15:16:51]To [Vexen]: You are a bad person and I hope lord Sargeras smites you with fire-balls
[15:16:53][Vexen] whispers: they give you a 72 hour 3-day ban
[15:17:00]To [Vexen]: lava and fire in your urethra for eternity
[15:17:02][Vexen] whispers: nice church
 
Everyone was reporting me and I started to worry about my account, which holds my precious characters. I decided the GMs had to hear my side of the story.
 

 

 
We waited for the authorities to make us move our Bingo Hall to the Thunderbluff reservation, but they never came. Instead we witnessed a bingo fan club emerge in the city Orgrimmar. The gold kept coming in, and everyone was having a good time in the name of Sargeras. At one point that night - just after I finished mailing another set of cards to Minkyboodle - I felt something strange, it could have been a horsefly or a mosquito, but I’m almost certain a tiny fireball hit me in the arm. I looked up at the sky and winked. After that, things started to change...
 
[15:51:20][Fansy] yells: BINGO IS NOT GAMBLING OR A CASINO!!! We will not get banned as this is a religious fundraiser for lord Sargeras creator of worlds consumed in flames and agony! Please help spread His word in front of the inn
[15:51:21][Lunarx] says: lol
[15:51:24][Rohawn] yells: STFU no one wants to waste their coin on some dumb shiat
[15:51:47][Judith] yells: those are the words of a heretic
[15:51:49][Kob] yells: Rohawn, how DARE you?
[15:52:27][Rohawn] yells: arrgggg!!!!! IM BURNING WHATS GOIN ON!!!
 
[15:44:51][1. General] [Latia]: what is this bingo crap?
[15:44:57][1. General] [Dietwong]: shh plz no talking
 
(ooc: This random guy was yelling about Sargeras for a good 10 minutes. He was pissed that the citizens of Orgrimmar knew so little. This is just a little snippit of his sermon)
[15:40:09][Habenra] yells: Yes, sargeras, one of the titans who was chosen to defend the world he created, who was corrupted, and eventually amassed the armies of his after his fall to depravity, whom he called the Burning Legion, and from these armies
[15:40:41][Habenra] yells: From the ranks of the powerful Eredar, Sargeras picked two champions to command his demonic army of destruction. Kil'jaeden the Deciever and Archimonde, who according to the history, were the bad guys
 
[15:17:28]Fansy gets up to order some pickles
[15:17:35][Minkyboodle] yells: THREE --- B 3 !!!!
[15:20:44][1. General] [Arolch]: Wow. Burning legion religious bingo... I have officially seen everything.
 
 
UPDATE – A GM finally answered my petition of myself. It took several days, and countless petitions from other players, but he answered. He sounds very impressed and excited about Bingo, only he is repressing it so well that nobody can tell.
 

Greetings Ralph Widderfinkerstienz,

Thank you for contacting the World of Warcraft Game Master Department.

Petition:

Hail and well met, agent of customer support.

Lord Sargeras would smile down on you and possibly throw fireballs of joy at your face if you were to join me in a game of Lord Sargeras's Big Win Fun-Time Bingo. Many people are playing and the gold is flowing in like lava flows over a forgotten world set ablaze by our Lord.

Be warned, any false accusations of gambling, or action taken against my account will be reported to the Burning Legion.

Answer:

I must inform you that gambling is not allowed in the World of Warcraft and any participants of this activity can be possibly actioned for this. I would suggest that you cease in all such related activities.

Should you require further assistance, please submit another help request the next time you are online. We hope you continue to enjoy your experience in World of Warcraft!

For any game play questions, please refer to our site at http://www.blizzard.com/support/wowgm/

*** Please do not respond to this email as all conversations on this matter would be best handled online. ***

Regards,

Dradionn

Game Master

Blizzard Entertainment

If you suddenly went blind and didn't read the above letter, I have good news for you, you can play Bingo too and make lots of money for Lord Sargeras! Here's how:

Fansy's Guide to Playing BINGO (the game) in the World of Warcraft (the game), effectively allowing you to play two games at once.

1. Make some cards! Go to a mailbox and begin a letter to a friend, and then copy/paste this text into the body of the letter:

--== Official Bingo Card courtesy of Not Addicted ==--

All hail Sargeras! creator of burning worlds consumed by fire! This game of bingo is for fundraising purposes only to carry on His name so others may know His love, joy and fire.

B I N G O
*3*10*
*7*18*

Rules: Block out all numbers on a horizontal, vertical or diagonal line to win! Fansy or Minkyboodle will call the numbers, so listen up!

3. Watch some TV for awhile and then eat cereal.

5. Go back to your computer and type /macro to put in the following macros:

/say Lord Sargeras smiles upon your purchase %t, may he bless you with burning from the fires of a forsaken world forgotten eons ago!

/yell I QUIT SCAMMING MONTHS AGO, SO SHUT UP

/yell COME PLAY BINGO BY THE ______, it costs just __ per card!

/yell Stop reporting me, this is not gambling, it is a ____ fundraiser for ___ and ___ so you can ___ grandpa's ____ _____ clam chowder

(try writing something other than ____ if you want, but it would probably work both ways)

37. Here is the macro you need to play the game.

/random 1-18

Then yell what number came up, and put a letter in front so it looks like bingo, and type it slow like an old person.

2. BONUS

Bingo hall pickles are some of the best food in the world.

Thanks again to Minkyboodle (aka Pansy!) for helping me!