NotAddicted

Since the dawn of civilization, farming has been the biggest foundation for societies everywhere. Tribes of hunter and gatherers can now stop following herds year round, and set up camps and villages. Who would have thought that several thousands of years later the word “Farming” would be associated with greedy assholes who rape and pillage for gold? If you asked a tribesman that question now, his response would most likely be, “UNGA DUPLA CACA GOLDAFARMA GANHOSA LALALALA!” Which, as you can clearly see, expresses his disgust. We are undoubtedly proposed with a serious issue here, how are we as a society going to deal with it?

Surely we could go on a killing spree, committing acts of genocide against every gold farmer we come across, destroying their seed and preventing future generations from forming (which is still a viable option, you know, just throwing it on the table…) Oh, you want to do this a little more humane? All right Mr. Serious Business, let’s do it your way. Here I have compiled a list of instructions of what you should do when confronted with one. If you follow this guide you shouldn’t have any more problems, and we as a community will be one step closer to eradicating this kind of behavior for our future generations of orclings.

The first thing you need to know is how to identify whether or not someone is in fact a Chinese gold farmer. Here are a few tips that I hope help you with this task:

· First Tip: The very first thing you will notice is their horrible grasp on the english language. If you have to read what they say three or four times, and still don't understand, it's already too late. Possible examples are:

1.)


2.)



· Second Tip: They are wearing BARE MINIMUM armor, the cheapest they can get ahold of. Whatever it takes to get the job done.



Once you are confronted with one, and are able to verify that it is indeed a Chinese gold farmer, here are a few tips on how to handle the situation:



· First Tip: YOU MUST RIDICULE AND HUMILIATE THEM AT ALL COSTS!

1.) Once a man is sold into Chinese slavery, they are not men anymore. They are brain washed and given special training on how to be complete retards. They are scum whose lives are worthless to everyone; so don’t feel guilty while treating them like shit!

2.) By doing this, you will discourage future generations of gold farmers from entering their father's/mother's profession. That or you'll incur the wrath of a vengeful relative and therefore completely screw up your chances of leveling in peace for at least a week.

· Second Tip: REHABILITATION IS NOT AN OPTION!

1.) Do not feel sympathy for them; do not try to assist them. They are already an empty shell filled with a deep seeded hatred.

2.) If you try to assist them with their freedom/rehabilitation you will only leave yourself open to attack and/or trains. The emancipation of these people IS NOT WORTH THE LOSS OF ITEM DURABILITY!

3.) Do NOT report them to GMs. Getting a gold farmer banned will increase the price of gold, and that extra cost will come out of God-fearing American's wallets and go straight into communist China's hands.


· Third Tip: Squeeze them for all they are worth; like a dirty, stinky, used gym towel.
This was an idea from my buddy Iluv (he's azn too so it's ok)

1.) Create a C.O.D with "Here have this gold" and the message "please take this gold, you can have it." Attach a nice little item like a piece of cloth or a mining pick. Send it to your neighborhood gold farmer.


2.) Receive the gold.


3.) Recieve the angry letter 2 minutes later that you can't understand.


If one of you lovely internet people can translate that, I'll pass the message on to Iluv.

I've made some improvements on Iluv's method by using some tried and true mailing techniques.

There's a million more where those came from,


Do real spammers make this much money?


· Fourth Tip: Learn how to speak their language. Yes, we've all seen broken translations like:

Xiang he wo yi qi da gui shou ma - do you want to group with me to kill some monsters?
Ni zai zheng qian ma? - are you farming gold?
yao dou shao jing zi? - how much gold?
Wo shi mei guo ren! - I am special, you are a shit on goat's piss!

But are you really going to remember any of those? And what happens when they respond? Instead you should learn functional WoW Chinese. Simply take any verb such as "move, run, hit, swing, shoot" and replace it with "action" and a smiley face.

"how u action so fast ^^"
">| action him out of group"
"want to action my buttt ~~~~"

If you reach the end of this guide, and none of its contents helped you at all, refer to this one last tip:

FINAL TIP: Give up and join them. Sure it's a long plane ride, you'll miss your family, and when they play WoW it's not for fun. But lets compare lifestyles:

You live in: a dirty apartment with a broken fire alarm and pee in your sink
They live in: an 8x5 space with a tidy cot and a secure, 24/7 bolted door courtesy of IGE. (I don't know where or if they pee)

You smoke: They smoke:

When you play WoW: You grind UBRS and AV for hours in hopes of obtaining better equipment that will help you grind UBRS and AV.
When they play wow: They open the same treasure chests and kill the same mobs for hours in hopes of earning enough to never have to play WoW again.

Only one of you is actually accomplishing something.

I really hope all of you anonymous internet consumers have learned something from this guide. If history has taught us one thing, it's that slavery completely destroys the economy of any society. We as citizens of Azeroth must put this disgusting use of inhumane treatment to a stop, for the future of our orclings. So please, if you come across an enslavement camp, make sure to refer to this handy guide. Stay safe, Stay strong, and most importantly: Stay free from gold farmers.